Love

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The last few weeks, we’ve been on a journey to deepen our understanding of the biblical story by looking at it through the lens of Jesus. So far, we’ve looked at the Image of God—who he is—light, love, and life; we’ve looked at humanity’s Identity—who we were created to be—beloved image-bearers; and we’ve looked at humanity’s Purpose—why we were created—to reflect the Creator’s light, love, and life and to steward his creation. Have you noticed the overarching theme in all of this? It’s love. Jesus and the New Testament authors summed it up for us this way: “…God is love” (1 John 4:8)—it’s who he is—his Image. “…Love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7)—it’s who the image-bearers were created to be—our Identity. And we were to “…love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…” and to “…love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-40). In fact, everything we do “…must be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14)—it’s why humanity was created—our Purpose—to love. Since love is foundational to our Creator’s design and purpose for his creation kingdom, we’re adding this extra episode to the vlog this week to dig deeper and see if we can gain a better understanding of this crucial concept.

In today’s culture, “love” is a word that’s used in many contexts. Our English language has one word for “love”. We use the word to talk about how we feel about our deepest relationships with our spouses or partners, our children, our families, and our friends. But we also use it to describe how we feel about our pets, our jobs, our hobbies, our favorite sports teams, the movies or books we’ve enjoyed, or our favorite foods. In fact, we use this one word so frequently and in so many different ways, its meaning has become diluted and its power weakened. 

In the Hebrew and Greek languages, there are multiple words to describe “love”, and each is a bit different depending on the context in which it’s used, but in the Gospels, the two words used predominantly for “love” are “agape” (ag-ah’-pay) and “philos” (fee’-los). The word “philos” means “friend or one dearly loved in a personal intimate way”. It is an experience-based brotherly love, a personal attachment, a feeling of warm, personal affection. It is the mutual love between good friends. The Apostle John used this word when he identified himself as “the disciple who Jesus loved” (John 20:2).

The word “agape” on the other hand, means “to prefer” and it is sometimes called “divine love”. It is a love which is centered in preference, value, and goodwill. It differs from the personal, two-way, experience-based “philos”, in that “agape” love involves a conscious choice, a deliberate decision of the will. It is unconditional, and it is not dependent upon whether it is received or returned. The verb form, “agapao” means, “to value, to take pleasure in, to long for, to desire, to esteem”. The word “agape” in its various forms, is the word for “love” used most frequently by Jesus and the New Testament authors. In fact, it is the word used in one of the most frequently quoted verses in Scripture, “For God so loved the world…” (John 3:16). As the scriptural story shows us, God’s love is not based on whether we follow his commands, or whether we look a certain way, or believe a certain doctrine, or even whether we return his love. The use of the word “agapao” in this verse means he prefers us, he values us, he takes pleasure in us, and he desires to be with us no matter who we are or what we’ve done, even when we forget him, we run from him, or we turn our backs on him, because “agape” is who he is. 

This reaffirms what we’ve already come to understand about the Genesis creation story—the Creator God loves his creation and his image-bearers. Jesus tells us that his Father loves us and values us simply because of who he made us to be—his children, created in his image—even when we do not receive his love or return it (Luke 12:24). 

“Agape” love does not depend on mutual affection, but when it is mutual—when it’s expressed and then received and given back in return—it forms the foundation of our deepest relationships. We can see this idea implied when we look back at the continuation of the creation story in Genesis 2. In this telling, we see that the Creator did not intend for humans to be alone. We were created for relationship with him, and for relationships with each other. We were created for “agape”. The story says, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). Remember, the word for “man” used here—“adam”—means “human being”. The word for “helper” is not meant in a subordinate or hierarchical sense, in fact, it’s a word most often used in Scripture to describe the help God himself provides to his people. And the word for “suitable” means “corresponding to, or a counterpart”.

The symbolic story continues by describing how none among the created animals was a “suitable helper” for the human, so God created woman from one “rib” of the human. Scholars tell us that the word for “rib” used here is most often translated in Scripture as “side”. In other words, a “counterpart” was not found among the animals, so God took “one side” of human and made “woman”—another human—different and yet the same.

Then the human said, “At last this is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh…” (Genesis 2:23), a phrase used elsewhere in Scripture to describe close bonds of kinship between family members (Genesis 29:14, 2 Samuel 5:1). The story goes on to say that the two shall “cleave” to each other (the word means keep close or remain with) and become “one flesh”. Now, I know that this symbolic story, understood in the patriarchal culture and context in which it was written, speaks to the creation of male and female, man and woman, and the intended closeness of a traditional marriage bond and procreation. But can we also understand it in a broader sense as well? 

We know that relationships now look very different from relationships in ancient times and cultures, and as Jesus and the Apostle Paul attest, traditional marriage and family are not the only ways through which “agape” love can be expressed (Matthew 19:10-12, 1 Corinthians 7:8-9). We can also see this unconditional, valuing love in close family relationships and deep friendships as well. So perhaps, the symbolic call to the closeness of one-flesh relationships in the creation story can also be expanded beyond traditional male-female gender roles and marriages. Can it also describe committed loving, honoring, same-sex relationships as well? Can it also embrace relationships that embody deep, freely shared “agape” between two human beings—“suitable helpers” for each other—committed to cherishing one another in life-long partnership?

Now I know this is a loaded topic, and people debate it passionately on both sides, but given what Jesus shows us and teaches us about “agape” love, and his call for his followers to “think differently” about their deeply held interpretations, I don’t believe this is a topic his followers can just dismiss out of hand. It’s worth some deep thought and gracious conversation.

As we’ve seen, “agape” love given and returned, forms powerful relational bonds, but what does it look like when it is not returned? For example, Jesus called his followers to not only love one another with “agape” love, but also to love those they perceived as their enemies. He told them they were not to judge others, but instead, to love and esteem each other as fellow human beings; to choose to value others simply because his Father—the Creator God—values them (Matthew 5:44, 7:1, Luke 6:27). 

When we acknowledge “agape” love as all-inclusive and unconditional, we see that a person’s race, gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, mental or physical abilities, socio-economic status, political views, or religious beliefs do not lessen their value in God’s eyes, so they should not lessen anyone’s value in our eyes. The creation story shows us that all of humanity was created with immense value, in the image of our Creator. “Agape” love accepts this truth. It breaks down all barriers, transcends all labels, and erases all lines. 

“Agape” love is a powerful, active love as well, and it must be expressed to be seen. God’s love for us can be seen in all of creation, but it is expressed most clearly in the person of Jesus. When we look at Jesus, we see what the Creator’s powerful love for us looks like in action. Jesus said, only loving those who return our love isn’t the “agape” love he’s talking about (Matthew 5:43-48). Actively choosing to love those who hurt us or betray us, those who are different from us, those we feel are not worthy of our love, or those who repay our love with animosity or hate, does not come naturally to us, but that is exactly the kind of love we see modeled in the words and actions of Jesus. He shows us that the “agape” love which flows out from our Creator is what enables us to actively “prefer” what he “prefers”. The Apostle John put it this way, “We love, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). 

Think about that. “Agape” love is not something we can muster up on our own. It is only through our connection with our Creator Spirit—in the acknowledging and receiving of his love for us—that we are empowered to reflect and express that love to others. We cannot give what we do not have, and we will not have unless we receive with open minds and hearts. Only his love, the love of the Creator God who is love, received by us and living in us, can give us the power to express true “agape” love to others. 

“Agape” is also a healing love. If we will let it in, it will transform our hearts and make us whole. No matter who we are or what we’ve done, when we allow God’s “agape” love to flow in us and out from us to others; when we value others, even if it’s for no other reason than the fact that God values them; we become a conduit for his love. God’s love works in us to heal our hearts, we are enabled to love him in return, and consequently, he is able to love his people through us. When we embrace the image of God as love itself, and we embrace our identity as beloved image-bearers, we become empowered to walk in humanity’s intended purpose—to reflect his love—and we become participants in the story of God’s love for his creation kingdom, and in his plan to restore all things to himself (Colossians 1:20). 

This kind of love is not easy, it can be messy, and it almost always costs us, but as the Apostle Paul says, without “agape”, we are nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2). We were created by love, we were created in the image of love, and we were created to receive that love and then to reflect itinto the world.